Panic during zazen can be most challenging. Sitting in the midst of stillness, and then the ego pulls the fire alarm. Suddenly, your body is still but your mind is screaming: Fire! Your zazen body-mind tells you to observe and let it go. Not easy. Even worse, you are "trapped" in the zendo, and the round has just begun. In the urge to flee, every pain, sound, and sensation are amplified a thousand-fold. Soon, the panic has passed, and mu is back. Both will come and go again, ebb and flow, fire and still water.
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My favorite is when just as the bell rings I become obsessed with the idea that my legs are in some horribly wrong position and that I will be in pain the whole period unless I adjust them one more time. Generally, the worst thing might be that they fall asleep a bit more soundly than when adjusted more carefully, and a lot of times they aren't even misadjusted at all.
Were you saying that the panic is other than mu?
Panic is mu, and is not. In order to arrive at mu, you must transcend panic.
Does someone do something to transcend panic?
Does someone do anything? Who is that someone?
Become the panic that you already are.
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