The First Gate of Fear

I met fear today, utter, total, fear.  Going up to the top of the CN tower in Toronto with my daughter.  It has an observation deck with a glass floor, looking straight down about 446 meters (1,450 feet).  The glass is very thick, and you can stand on it and look down....all the way down.  The sign says that the glass can support 14 hippopotami can standing on it.  Maybe....but this one terrified Zen householder could not support no-mind looking down and standing on the glass.  I knew that the glass was strong, saw others standing on it, and knew I could not fall.  I still could not do it, and gripped by terror, could not penetrate  this gate.  And Mu will take no less than this, no less than everything....

Householder Zazen

As a householder, finding space for zazen is hard. The distractions and demands of family and work make it difficult. Most teachers recommend setting aside a special space for zazen, uncluttered, light, and free of distractions. I suspect they have no children, nor live in a smaller house. Perhaps fitting, my cushion and mat are in nestled in a family area, facing a curtained window, with my back to the scattered toys. My children's schedule changes, and so! The time set aside for zazen is taken by a different obligation. Ho! Time to beg for new space.