Boil water, Put the kids to bed, Sit zazen

I just finished reading Jeff Wilson's essay in Tricycle "Meditation: a rare practice" discussing how rare zazen practice is for householders in most Buddhist cultures, including Japan. It puts a new perspective on the Western householder practice. Emphasizing zazen as a foundation of householder practice seems to be a new and particularly Western practice. The struggle to balance householder life and zazen is being lived out as a great experiment in our time and place, and we do not yet know the outcome. I am not sure how I feel about this new information. On the one hand, it is daunting to think that zazen practice has perhaps been tried by other householders in far more supportive cultures and not taken root. On the other hand, it is exciting that we live in a time and place where we have the luxury of building sanghas around this Zen experiment. Boil water, put the kids to bed, sit zazen.

Hiding in Zazen

When the ten-thousand things seem to press in, I find myself hiding in zazen. This is usually related much more to aversion than taking refuge, it seems. Zazen then becomes a place-time-state to hide from fear of the ten-thousand things (or the one or two that seem really frightening or oppressive at the moment!). What does it truly mean to take refuge?

The Language of Being

Words and speach are the language of knowing. The languague of knowing divides, categorizes, judges, describes, makes images of the unimaginable, and seeks communication. It has a speaker, that which is spoken, and an audience. Action and non-action, movement and stillness, the void and the ten-thousand things are the language of being. Zazen, koan practice, shikuntaza, kinhin, and compassion are expressions of the language of being. There is nothing to speak, nothing which is spoken, and no audience. Be zazen, be the koan, be compassion. Children have this ability, and one merit of family practice is the opportunity to become the language of being with your children, to re-learn it.

Lessons from our Children

Householders with children have the advantage of seeing the world anew through their children's eyes. A few years ago, one of my kids did something that she knew she was not supposed to. Discussing the "event" at bedtime, she succinctly described that sinking feeling. "You know when you aren't supposed to do something, and then you just did it?" Yes, that jolt of eyes-wide-open clarity after action and before consequences. Children seeing karma clearly. In zazen, I am re-learning to immerse my "self" in that flash of bright stillness.

Cup of Mu

After sitting at the zendo early in the morning, I usually indulge in coffee at the local cafe. It is an attachment that I enjoy, and thus has become linked to one part of my practice. I have tried to wean myself from this attachment, but it is strong. Cup of java, cup of Mu! Wondering if I should unchain myself from this pleasure, or take it as it is...

Stones Thrown in Water

A New Year comes, and here we are. Well, here we always are, resolving to practice as we are able, to stop throwing our own stones in the water. What will be different about this New Year? New and now, on the cushion and off. We resolve for this New Year to go beyond duality and distinction, and in resolving we invoke discriminating mind. To resolve is to think that we are not that, and in that same instant to desire to become that. No resolve, just practice.