Saturday, February 09, 2008

Seeing My Death in Zazen

Sitting the other day, I suddenly felt the clear reality of my own death. Breathe in, breath out, and one day this too will cease. As a child, I distinctly remember when I first became aware of the inevitability of own death. I must have been about 5 years old. I was eating lunch and my parents, as was their habit, had the radio on with the news. I listened to a short piece about how "scientists" estimated that Earth would cease to exist in several billion years. I suddenly felt my vision was bright and crisp, accompanied by that awful feeling of being punched in the stomach. Since then, I have this experience every so often, but this is the first time while sitting zazen.

3 comments:

Chris Lane said...

This is more of a comment on your many householder/Zen columns, but I've been reading the Platform Sutra (trans. by Red Pine, and a bang up translation it is I think), and it has this remarkable quote:

"Good friends, if you wish to practice this, you can do it at home too. It doesn't require living in a monastery. If you live in a monastery and don't practice, you're like those people in the Western paradise that think bad thoughts. And if you practice at home, you're like the people here in the East who perform good deeds. As long as you cultivate purity within yourselves, that is the Western Paradise."

Chris Lane said...

Not necessarily remarkable for its depth, but that the 6th and famed patriarch of Zen obviously was dealing with similar enough issues that we householders today wonder about to address it so specifically. And that he indeed is on the side that householder Zen is Zen.

Nikkolai said...

Chris -

Thank you for your comments, and my apologies for not responding for some time.

The platform sutra is remarkable, but the protagonists were still monks. I have found John Dado Loori's chapter (in "Eight Gates of Zen") on the complementary nature of householder and monastic Zen wise and though provoking. Especially since it is written by one who has a family and began as a householder. It is the first work on the subject.

Nikko